So I was milling around on WordPress today, reading random blogs, and I came across this interesting entry by Cathy at ‘Of Making Sense’. She writes about Google’s new image search, where you can start a search by linking or uploading a picture, and the results will come up with a list of visually similar images. I hadn’t noticed this fancy new feature before, so of course I had to try it out.

Here is what Google came up with when I uploaded a photo of myself…

Yes that’s right! Your eyes do not deceive you – Google thinks I look like Penelope Cruz! I also apparently look like various different men, a cupboard full of cables, and a dog. But hey – you win some, you lose some. My personal favourite in this series of results was this fella:

To be fair to Google, I can see how this photo is visually similar to mine in that he is holding his right hand up to his face, just as I am – that, and the one huge, bulging eye that we’re both sporting, and the beard.

The fun wasn’t over yet. I uploaded another photo to see if I had any more man/dog lookalikes out there. And yes, even with a different photo, it turns out I still carry a similarity to a greying, bearded bassoonist – though I feel the two children that came up in this search somewhat work to lower my score on the wrinkle counter (that’s how it works, right?).

But there was one thing that slightly worried me about this second set of results – I think by now you’ve probably spotted it.


And so naturally, having discovered my likeness not only to the Cruz (hope people don’t start mistaking her for me – that would be embarrassing for her) but also to the fine ladies and gentlemen (and canine) above, I have decided to grow my beard out, start wearing nothing but silver underwear and a pink feather boa, take up the bassoon, and just bark and lick myself instead of talking. See if people notice a difference.